Is It Getting Hot In Here?

FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

Apologies, readers. Far be it from me to sound a false alarm, but it's getting so hot down here at AS220 I was starting to get concerned. Lord knows, if the fiery sensuality of this week's events so much as singed any of our beloved patrons, I would never be able to forgive myself. Entrusted with the knowledge of our upcoming happenings, it would be flippant and careless of me to bear this load alone, all the while knowing I could have done something to prevent a mishap. It's the cross I bear, readers: being weighted down with this veritable furnace of information. I can't take it anymore. Put on your fire-retardant jumpsuit; we're going in.

It's only a couple of hours until the madness begins to unfold. Tailor your pants, lovers: Makeupbreakup, The Press, The Brother Kite, and Cellar Doves take the stage in t-minus. Shake it! Saturday night is riddled with your Auntie Reba's all time favorite genre: Canadian! Suuns and Parlovr trek down south to grace us with their presence. Don't you mock me with your bacon! Minky Starshine will jack us up with some jams that I understand to be somewhere between ELO and the Kinks, and it looks like I'll finally get to see Ming Toro. If it's cool by Pelletier, it's cool by me. Sunday night is going to get disgusting, as Rampant Decay, Brain Shivers, Suzi Trash, and Immaculate: Grotesque show us what their band names are all about. I can't resist an Arkansan. Tuesday marks an always torrid extravaganza courtesy of Tor Johnson starring White Problems from Milwaukee, but the fun doesn't end there! Wednesday night is gonna get wild, team. Real wild... Grass Widow is coming in all the way from San Frisco, and I couldn't be more psyched. Remember what happened last time they were in town? Ok, its a little fuzzy, but this time we're hell-bent on making some memories. "My new favorites" and AS2000 all-stars Blood Huff are starting the night, and have committed to ensuring that something horrifying and uncomfortable happens before 9:45. I've got my eye on you, Zacchhiillii! It all culminates in me getting canned for having some sort of inappropriate celebrity meltdown, cause this night is headed up by The Avengers. "Not the unwed teen mothers of punk rock!?" you may be screaming aloud in your own mind. Yes, the very same. Sorry guys. If your favorite events emails come to an abrupt halt after this show, you know why. After that is the sickest Armageddon show yet to date, but you'll have to wait until next week for details. Ha! Or, check the calendar. I never was good at secrets.

There's the happs, readers. Now remember what we talked about re: sunscreen and oven mitts. You know the drill. For a full rundown of the sitch, get thee to our calendar. Until the rock show, away!